Entertainment Section of Random Memo, the Manmade Multimedia web delivered Celebrity Information machine

YOUNG DOUG DEAD @90
5-8-2000

DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS, Jr., another Hollywood film legend is dead at the age of 90. He was in more than 100 films, and was the son of legendary actor DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS, who was a silent film star who died at the age of 56. Young FAIRBANKS went on to become a successful producer and writer.

His father was known as a womanizer in Hollywood, and young DOUG did his best to carry on the legacy. He married JOAN CRAWFORD at the age of 19. That marriage lasted 4 years, and he then wed MARY LEE EPLING HARTFORD, the former wife of A & P SUPERMARKET heir HUNTINGTON HARTFORD. In 1988, at the age of 78, he married another wealthy woman, VERA SHELTON, who survives him today.

FAIRBANKS, who was an only child of an only child, is also survived by his 3 daughters DAPHNE, VICTORIA and MELISSA.

HERCULES IS DEAD! LONG LIVE HERCULES
5-4-2000

STEVE REEVES, who was Hollywood's biggest star in 1959, died Tuesday of lymphoma at the age of 74. He made 19 films, but was most remembered for his numerous roles as HERCULES. He won the MR. AMERICA title in 1947, MR. WORLD and MR. UNIVERSE titles in 1948, and MR. UNIVERSE again in 1950. Sound like someone we know today-hasta la vista baby. Big difference, STEVE at his peak made $250,000 per film. Leading action stars of today earn upwards of $20 million per movie.

But it didn't matter much to REEVES, who was not the Hollywood type. He spent his golden years in the hills outside of San Diego, with his wife ALINE, who died in 1989. They raised horses and grew avacados, and lived the good life.

UP THE LADDER TO THE ROOF
4-5-2000

Two members of the SUPREMES, who joined the group after DIANA ROSS left in 1973, have been hand picked by DIANA to fill out the SUPREMES "reunion" tour, sending them UP THE LADDER TO THE ROOF, but relegating the real reunion members MARY WILSON and CINDY BIRDSONG to the deep end of the ocean. As we reported, the real SUPREMES couldn't agree upon a split of the proceeds from the tour, and apparently MISS ROSS was able to reach a deal with LYNDA LAURENCE and SHERRIE PAYNE, who will tour with ROSS starting June 14 in Philadelphia and ending August 15 in Las Vegas. The announcement was made, with the three ladies in fine form, yesterday at a news conference in Grand Central Terminal in New York City.

ROSS played down the concept of the "reunion" tour. And rightly so. The new gals have never performed with DIANA, but will get a trial by fire as they taped a segment for OPRAH to run today (4-5-99), and will perform on DIVAS 2000, which is a tribute to DIANA ROSS on VH1 to be aired Tuesday April 11, 2000.

Meanwhile reports are that MARY WILSON, who was an original founding member of the group, way back in 1959 when they were called the PRIMETTES, was offered $2 million for the tour, and then $3 million, "take it or leave it". So she left it. CINDY BIRDSONG, who replaced the other original member FLORENCE BALLARD in 1967 was reported to get even less. The performance fees for the entire tour are estimated to be between $15 and $20 million. Too bad, we really believed it when DIANA sang: "Someday we'll be together. Yes we will, yes we will."

No they won't. No they won't.

For info on the non-reunion tour, go to: www.dianarossandthesupremes.net

Even the url has too much attitude!

GET THE BALANCE RIGHT
3-20-2000

Is the mountain too high, the valley too low, or the river too wide for the SUPREMES reunion tour? Apparently DIANA ROSS and her people have offered original SUPREME member MARY WILSON $2 million for the nostalgia tour. CINDY BIRDSONG, who replaced FLORENCE BALLARD is set to get somewhat less than that. The kicker is that ROSS expects to make nearly $20 million for the concerts. There is a bit of a imbalance problem there, so as of now, the reunion tour is a no go. Stay tuned...............The DA in Los Angeles, that would be fumbling, bumbling GIL GARCETTI of the OJ fiasco, has finally charged HALLE BERRY in the hit and run case stemming from the February 23 accident wherein BERRY, apparently on her way home from some GRAMMY night merriment, slammed into a car after running a red light on famed Sunset Boulevard, causing such damage that the victim had to be extricated from her vehicle with the jaws of life equipment, and HALLE had to have 20+ stitches in her head. Hellllooooo. Why did it take a month to file charges in this case? It was a no-brainer, everyone knew who did it several days after the accident. If it would have been a blood or a crip, or any other citizen of Los Angeles, save the glitterati set, there would have been a SWAT team out to cart away the culprit the very next day. And you can bet felony hit and run charges would have been filed. But nooooo, BERRY has a May 4th court date to answer misdemeanor charges of leaving the scene of an accident. She faces a fine of $10,000 and a year in jail, but it could have been worse. Things were going so well for BERRY, who won a GOLDEN GLOBE in January for her remarkable portrayal of DOROTHY DANDRIDGE, and also won a SCREEN ACTORS GUILD award last month for the same role. She did not attend that ceremony..................... As the boys from DEPECHE MODE like to sing:

"When you hit the top,
get ready to drop,
prepare yourself for a fall,
you're gonna fall,
it's almost predictable."

GET THE BALANCE RIGHT

ENTERTAINMENT MEMO
3-13-2000

AMERICAN BEAUTY swept the preliminary award events over the weekend, as ALLAN BALL won BEST DIRECTOR over the weekend on Saturday evening, and then watched as AMERICAN BEAUTY cleaned up at the SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS, where BEAUTY won the equivalent of BEST PICTURE, and ANNETTE BENING and KEVIN SPACEY took home the actor prizes. AMERICAN BEAUTY won the top 5 honors from the LONDON CRITICS ASSOCIATION on March 3, including BEST PICTURE, BEST DIRECTOR, SAM MENDES, BEST ACTOR, KEVIN SPACEY, BEST ACTRESS, ANNETTE BENING, and BEST SCREENPLAY, ALLAN BALL. BALL also won last weekend at the WRITER'S GUILD AWARDS for BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY. Looks like all the suspense for the ACADEMY AWARDS show on the 26th is just about done........AMERICAN BEAUTY won't be available in video stores until May 9, 2000, so if it cleans up at the OSCARS look for some kind of limited re-release..............................................Hello, it's in limited release already, I can't write this stuff fast enough to keep up with what's going on..................ANGELINA JOLIE won BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS at the SAG AWARDS. That girl can't build shelves fast enough to display all the awards. She won a GOLDEN GLOBE earlier this year for her role in GIRL INTERRUPTED, and seems to win something nearly everytime she takes a role. Look for her to nab the OSCAR in 2 weeks............................PETA, the folks who care about animal abuses is running an ad aimed at nabbing college students, asking them to drink alcohol rather than milk, extolling the health virtues of the beverage. MADD, the mothers against drunk driving is a bit perturbed about the ad campaign, as one would expect. Since when does milking a cow constitute cruelty to animals?............................And speaking of cruelty, BRETT BUTLER is returning to sitcom television, and on the network that sent her packing with no lack of ill will, ABC. GRACE UNDER FIRE was a hit for several years, but its star didn't exhibit much, and the two entities didn't hide their disdain for one another. But word is about that MISS BUTLER will be back on ABC in another comedy for the fall. I'll never forget the time when she was signing books in a local store, back in 1997. We had cleared with her publicist, and the store to shoot the event, as we routinely do. When the star arrived at the store, she demanded the cameras be banished. No cameras! Out! We were livid, our crew spent nearly 2 hours on a Friday afternoon in rush hour traffic to get the 5 minutes of pictures, and BRETT BUTLER would have none of it. The poor store manager who endured the wrath of the media whispered to me over the phone, as I could hear a screaming BUTLER in the background, "never again!" Well I guess it is true--never say never........................................And what is the DA waiting for on the HALLE BERRY alleged hit and run case. If this had been any other citizen in LA they would have been arrested the very next day. BERRY has been in seclusion since the February 23rd incident, and did not make an appearance at the SAG awards last night, where she won an award for her portrayal of DOROTHY DANDRIDGE. Come clean, HALLE, face the music, and get back to the rising career you have left in the wings.....................................

ENTERTAINMENT MEMO
3-1-2000

EF! KATHIE LEE IS LEAVING

We told you she was leaving that show and ef if she didn't do it. What the ef is she going to do now? She sure beat that effer REEEG to the punch, no effing around, baby. Right on the show, she announced it, and she's been crowing about it to all the talk stops. Now them's some effing balls. After 15 effing years, it's all down the effing drain. Ef. REGIS needs to find himself another effing hostess, and effing fast. Effing a, man.....................But what the ef should REEEG care, he's getting $20 million a year for his 2 shows. That is not money to ef around with...................Maybe KATHIE LEE isn't pleased with the money, and wants to ef the producers over contract negotiations. She's not effing stupid you know............BARRY WHITE won his first 2 GRAMMY'S ever last week, but he wasn't too effing pleased about it. He told the LA TIMES he'd remain bitter "...till the day I die", after being snubbed by the GRAMMY folks for his previous 30 some years in the biz. Now that's one ef of a grudge.............................CELINE DION is suing the NATIONAL ENQUIRER for $20 million because they wrote she was having twins. Now what the ef is the damage in that. I don't effin get it. Who the ef cares what they write?.........................Did you see the pictures of PRINCE CHARLES sporting the fake dreadlocks in his visit to Jamaica? What a effing boob! Pull your effing head, dreadlocks and all, out of your tight, funky, British as------ef, we can't say that................ The ACADEMY of MOTION PICTURE ARTS and SCIENCES, the people who put on THE ACADEMY AWARDS SHOW are in a bit of a quandary. One of the nominated songs this year--"BLAME CANADA," from the SOUTH PARK movie has a few cuss words in it-fu.., sh.., etc. They have asked writers TREY PARKER and MARC SHAIMAN to rework the song so it can be performed on the show. They ought to take KATHIE LEE'S lead, for that effing cookie is one smart beach. No effing es. Just change a few letters and no one will know the effing difference. No es! The effing irony, though, is that the movie, SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER AND UNCUT is about the evils of censorship. I'm not essing you. Ef, ain't life a beach. No es.....................

ENTERTAINMENT MEMO
THE GRAMMYS
2-24-2000

CARLOS SANTANA dominated GRAMMY 2000 last evening, winning 8 of the 9 categories in which he was nominated, including SONG OF THE YEAR, RECORD OF THE YEAR and ALBUM OF THE YEAR. It is testament to his hard work, and dedication to his craft, as well as to just how ridiculous the whole industry is. The 8 awards, which ties MICHAEL JACKSON'S one night record take for THRILLER, were the first GRAMMIES CARLOS had ever received, despite his legendary work back in the 70's. Come on people, get a grip here. This is sentimental, political backslapping, pure and simple. And don't get me wrong, I love SANTANA'S work. Especially his early recordings. It is eerie how much SMOOTH sounds like these earlier albums. Take ROB THOMAS' vocal out and SMOOTH could be off the CARAVANSARAI release in 1975. The music and the guitar riffs haven't changed much, they've always been good. It just took the GRAMMY people 25 years to figure it out......................Let's hope it will be another 25 years before ELLEN DEGENERES is let loose to go milking through the arrival crowd for some baby batter for her and ANNE ala ETHERIDGE and CYPHER. The joke was not funny, in fact it was disgusting. STING was appalled, and choir boy RICKY MARTIN didn't have a clue what she meant, so he rubbed the cup all over his body for good luck. No such............................What is up with JENNIFER LOPEZ? She has a killer body, her dress was an absolute stunner, but why give it all away like that? A bit more discretion will go a long way.....................Is CHRISTINA AGUILERA really that catty, or was she just fidgety every time the audience cam looked her way .....................And was GARBAGE chanteuse SHIRLEY MANSON so totally bored when she was on stage. Smile, and the whole world smiles with you, SHIRLEY..........................How pissed do you think fellow ex-mouseketeer BRITTANY SPEARS was about the new artist award? AGUILERA only had one single out in time for Grammy consideration, yet she still lathered BRITNEY and industry favorite MACY GRAY, who must have been a bit overwhelmed by PHIL COLLINS and NEIL DIAMOND, as she came off like ASTRO from the JETSONS in her presentation moment. Speak sweety, speak..........................CBS local news made a big deal out of the flap between WHITNEY HOUSTON and host ROSIE O'DONNELL, after ROSIE joked about Hawaii (the mary j-not BLIGE-thing) and HOUSTON'S acceptance speech where she thanked god. Some big scandal? I didn't see it. Come on, ROSIE read everybody. Keep that special investigation's unit on the street where it belongs, channel 2..............................Is WILL SMITH a tad big with himself? And is it me or do all of his songs (does WILL SMITH even sing?) sound the same? Over it....................................I never knew KID ROCK had any talent, but he actually does play the piano. Who knew...............................FAITH HILL, honey, nice dress, nice look, but were you clipped onto a BARBIE stand? Pulllease, take a step or two........................... Congratulations to CHER, who won her first GRAMMY as well last evening, in the BEST DANCE/POP/whatever category for her international hit BELIEVE. Now CHER has been putting out hits even longer than SANTANA. What was it 1965 when I GOT YOU BABE climbed the charts. That would be 35 years ago, but CHER finally gets some recognition. The GRAMMY people are catching up, look for BOBBY SHERMAN to take home 5 or 6 next year...............................

WHEN FAIRY TALES GO BAD
2-23-2000

It is a marketing stroke of genius, you understand. FOX is quietly watching as the other stations rip the network, and its widely watched fiasco HOW TO MARRY A MULTI-MILLIONAIRE to shreds. Poor old sap RICK ROCKWELL is being slammed for real, not like those powder puffs on WWF SMACKwhatever. This guy is getting the ream without petroleum, baby. It turns out he was sleeping on the plane en route to his honeymoon with his newly wed, and newly met bride. How romantic? The couple had separate rooms in the Caribbean, and didn't consummate the marriage. It also has been revealed that ROCKWELL used the appearance on the show to boost his career, a publicity play. Boo. And of course we've heard all the garbage about the restraining order, and his meager assets, and yada, yada, yada.

But now the bride is taking a few licks. She gave DIANE SAWYER of GMA an interview in which she begged for the world to know that she wasn't like the caricature of her as portrayed in the FOX show. What DARVA, you weren't looking for an easy way out, a golden parachute to sail away from your life as a VA nurse? You really only participated in the show for the week vacation in Vegas, and didn't expect to be picked. Oh you poor, blonde, dear. We feel so sorry for you.

And have you seen the other stations licking their chops as they report on the decision by FOX to pull the plug on the remaining specials. They seem so sad while doing the stories about how FOX may be sued by the bride for misrepresentation, among other things. It seems the other networks liked the idea that FOX got nearly 30 million viewers for this show, just as much as the rest of us viewers liked the idea of RICK ROCKWELL, multi-millionaire marrying a fairy tale bride and living happily ever after. Wicked, all of us!

But it is FOX who will have the last laugh. You see, this media frenzy chewing up the MULTI-MILLIONAIRE franchise is really one massive, nationwide promo for FOX'S new nightly news magazine, reality based, serio-drama-game show--WHEN FAIRY TALES GO BAD. Brilliant! I can't wait. Look for RICK and DARVA as hosts. Television, you gotta love it!

ENTERTAINMENT MEMO
2-21-2000

WHO WANTS TO DIVORCE A MULTI-MILLIONAIRE?

FOX is scrambling to distance itself from the fallout from WHO WANTS TO MARRY A MULTI-MILLIONAIRE. It seems, charming, lovable millionaire RICK ROCKWELL isn't all he seemed in the 2 hour special. First, ROCKWELL isn't his real name, okay fine. He was born RICHARD BALKEY, not as glamorous. Second, there are rumors he was seeing his new bride, DARVA CONGER (is that her real name for Christ's sake!) whom he supposedly chose blindly, for weeks prior to the show. FOX denies this, but has yanked a scheduled re-airing of the show, after learning of a restraining order brought against RR back in 1991 by a former fiancee, for alleged violent threats made against her. And now comes the news that he is barely a millionaire, and hardly a multi-millionaire. Jesus, Mary and Joseph! We want a divorce!................And FOX is not the only moral degenerate to denigrate the institution of marriage. There is another show planned in the very near future about blind date marriages which won't be a sweeps month special, but a daily show. Where are all the bull horn Christian conservatives yapping about the sanctity of marriage? You need protection against those that want to build legitimate stable relationships, yet you let waltz right into your hallowed halls the likes of these money grabbing or beauty queen buying paragons of virtue. Pulllease. The hypocrisy is astounding................. And why in the world would gays and lesbians want to adopt this sad model of a family anyway? Sink or swim on your own ship of dreams, not somebody else's tired, rotting vessel............. Speaking of rotten, did anyone see the "brilliant" combination of the X-FILES and COPS on FOX Sunday evening. Which brainiac came up with this one?! Can you believe that there are probably thousands of people who go home every night that have to (and probably do) feel proud about this work. Included in those ranks are GILLIAN ANDERSON and DAVID DUCHOVNY. What were they thinking? I used to believe, although I must admit I was a late comer to the X bandwagon, that the show was fresh and creative, and had some interesting things to say about our government, the unknown, and perhaps even extra-terrestrials. I never did understand the motivations of the big stars--were they playing it for camp, comedy, or what? Now I'm totally lost. The show is now a joke, and GIL and DAVE are worse. Not clever, not funny, not acting. What are you doing? There is something out there, it's called a career. Get one!...................... CBS has pulled the plug on WINNING LINES, the first casualty in the prime time, millionaire game show wars, because of low ratings. I told you it wasn't the most exciting 3 minutes on television, even if it had DICK CLARK.................... CONNIE STEVENS and JOHN McCAIN are apparently undaunted by the STAR'S reports of extramarital relations between the two. CONNIE is hosting a fundraiser for McCAIN in Beverly Hills Friday, and says she is the one who told JOHN to run for president...........................

ENTERTAINMENT MEMO
2-15-2000

We all know that PAMELA ANDERSON is bigger than life, even after the breast reduction surgery. But come on miss, PAMELATV. There is word that next year V.I.P. PAM will launch a 24 cable network with all PAMELA all the time. Youza! She's well on her way, with reruns of BAYWATCH, that super bosso V.I.P., and a new music video from LIT called "MISERABLE". In it, PAMELA, clad in a snazzy bikini and platform heels, is the stage for the band something akin to GULLIVER in GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. The band is Lilliputian, and shows up on the flat of her heels, the round of her back, yada, yada, yada, you get the picture. But the lyric is kinda rude--"You make me cum, you make me complete, you make me completely miserable". How true. Did TOMMY write this? PAMELA takes this lying down for only so long and then she snaps--she hunts down each and every member of LIT and........eats them........................WALLACE LANGHAM, the actor who plays sexually ambiguous JOSH on VERONICA'S CLOSET will not be getting off so easy in his hate crime case. We reported that a settlement had been reached with the victim, allowing the case to be dismissed. But a judge in Los Angeles has refused to deep six the case, saying LANGHAM used hate slurs in the "fairly brutal attack". Stay tuned....................KID ROCK aka ROBERT RITCHIE, is in a custody battle with ex-girlfriend KELLEY SOUTH over the care and housing of KID'S kid, 6 year old ROBERT RITCHIE, Jr. KID ROCK is a multiplatinum rock artist whose latest release is DEVIL WITHOUT A CAUSE, but his attorney, LORI FINAZZO says he does have a cause, his child comes first...............................PARAMOUNT STUDIOS is set to release MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 2 Memorial Day, just as reports have surfaced that TOM CRUISE'S paycheck for the first feature was nearly $70 million, thanks to a nice backend deal on the first MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. BARBARA BAIN must be livid!..............................DIANA ROSS looked mahhhhvelous, as she hosted the NAACP AWARDS Saturday from Pasadena, California. She was excited about the upcoming SUPREMES reunion tour set for summer 2000, and didn't show any strain from her divorce from ARNE NESS which took effect Friday in the Dominican Republic. The couple had been married since 1986..................................From the supreme to the bizarre, film critic REX REED, once all the rage on the entertainment reporter's circuit, has fallen to a new low, having been arrested in New York over the weekend for shoplifting 3 cd's from TOWER RECORDS. The contraband--MEL TORME, PEGGY LEE and CARMEN McCRAE according to the Los Angeles Times. Is that all there is..........to a robbery.................................ELLEN DEGENERES is back, this time in a lesbo love thing with SHARON STONE in IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK 2 to be aired on HBO March 5. Is ELLEN an actress, or an exhibitionist? How about playing someone with a sense of humor next time...................JACKIE STALLONE, the press hungry mother of SLY, is back at it again, this time promoting sales of her butt reading kits from her website. Yeah that's right, she reads people's butts, claiming to foresee their future from the size, outline, color patterns, etc. I'm not making this stuff up! Yo JACKIE, quit being a buttinksy and take up knitting or somethun.

ENTERTAINMENT MEMO
2-9-2000

LOVE IS ALL AROUND

The long awaited MARY & RHODA fell flat Monday night, but MARY sure wasn't. Did she have implants? Were those perky peaches filling up those sweaters? Too bad the daughters were entirely miscast, and the writing was so disjointed, and there were no PHYLLIS, or TED, or MURRAY, or LOU, or GEORGETTE, or SUE ANN. After all, THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW was about how sweet, straight laced MARY bounced off of and around the rest of theses goofballs, all the while teaching them and us a thing or two about life. No such joy here. First, the girls were all wrong. Hellloooo--would it have been that much of a stretch to have MARY'S daughter be a straight and narrow, tightly strung, sorority snob? And RHODA'S daughter could have been an uncouth, street smart, JERSEY/NEW YORKA. The plot would have been set. Second, where was the humor? MTM was a sitcom. This was like a cheap DAVID KELLEY drama. Finally, the supporting cast of characters were not people we cared about, rather we wanted them off. And so, there will be no series, no resurrection of the best show on television. No, we'll just have to savor MARY & RHODA, and all the rest just the way they were.......................................A real sitcom--MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE just got re-upped for 16 more episodes, which FOX hopes to air beginning late summer, getting a jump on the new fall season.............................................THE AMERICAN COMEDY AWARDS were presented Sunday night, in a ceremony which will be broadcast at some later time when none of us really cares anymore. ANALYZE THIS won for funniest feature film. Come on people, it was okay, but there were funnier movies this year--AMERICAN PIE, DEUCE BIGALOW, AUSTIN POWERS-THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME. The laugh gods were closer to the mark for best television series--FRASIER, although WILL & GRACE is fresher and funnier. Alas, another awards show corrupted by the politics of Hollywood...............................MADONNA kept NBC'S MATT LAUER waiting for upwards of 2 hours for a junket on her new film which premieres in New York February 29, THE NEXT BEST THING. The gentleman diva was last in the day and didn't appreciate the wait ordering the 3-camera crew to dismantle and blow the interview off. Apparently one of the other crews, hmmmm ACCESS HOLLYWOOD, or could it be ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT, or perhaps CNN hogged the material girl for more time than they were

allotted and NBC got the shaft. Welcome to the club MATT...........................It really is a nastybusiness. Just ask MAURY POVICH and his staff on TWENTY ONE. It seems the new NBC show was beginning to develop an audience on Wednesday nights, working its' way up to the big leagues with ABC'S WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE, FOX'S GREED and DICK CLARK and CBS' WINNING LINES. So what does MILLIONAIRE do? They schedule a special episode of the game show to go head to head with TWENTY ONE on Wednesday no less. The result, 28 million viewers for MILLIONAIRE and 8.7 million for TWENTY ONE. Ouch! .............................And what is this hype from DICK CLARK that WINNING LINES has "the most exciting 3 minutes on television." Not! You can't even read the answas for Chrisake. Now bring back the $10,000 PYRAMID, add a few zeros to the mix, and that, my friend, would be the most exciting 60 seconds on television............................Either that, or a mini-cam following

NAOMI CAMPBELL and her personal assistant around. It seems the super model has a bit of a temper, and she went off on her assistant in their hotel room after a delay with customs coming into Toronto airport a few years back. The two ladies got to their hotel, calmly ordered room service, and then NAOMI let her have it, grabbing her by the throat and slamming her head with the telephone. By the time room service arrived, the assistant was fleeing the room bleeding from her head. Last week she plead guilty to assault for the matter and will avoid going to the slammer. Good thing, can you imagine the beating her poor assistant would have gotten after NAOMI'S release from prison. Look out!

ENTERTAINMENT MEMO
2-2-2000

Some 90 million people in the US saw SUPER BOWL XXXIV, and as it turned out it wasn't that bad a game. TENNESSEE came up about a yard short of

Thalia

sending it into overtime, as the RAMS won their first championship. The NFL estimated before the game that nearly 800 million people worldwide would see the game. Perhaps if MADONNA had been in the halftime show, but I don't think so. She of course withdrew her debut of AMERICAN PIE from the broadcast, saying she didn't have enough rehearsal time. The song hit radio this week, and by the sound of it, she should have held out for a few more mixes, boring. Talk about the day the music died............................By comparison, President CLINTON'S State of the Union address was seen by 51 million on the previous Thursday evening, WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE by some 30 million and WWF SMACKDOWN was seen by 8million................Millions will be able to see the reunion of the SUPREMES, who will rejoin to do at least 30 concert dates starting this summer. DIANA ROSS, along with CINDY BIRDSONG,

and MARY WILSON will be together barring wind, and rain, and winter storm, or high enough mountains, or valleys low, or rivers deep. All in thename of love.............Stop! TOMMY MATTOLA has apparently washed MARIAH out of his hair, as he is engaged to Latina sexpot THALIA. Coincidentally, she will have a new English cd out this fall. Que caliente! Chihuahua..................Some Brit reporter ralphed all over MARIAH in a limo as he was trying to get an interview in on the fly. Word up is she didn't care for it too much.................Goooey!

HOW MANY ESSES ARE THERE IN SWALLOW?!
January 28, 2000

If you watch VERONICA'S CLOSET, (and there's not much reason to do so, other than to catch up on the current hair color or weight of stars KATHY NAJIMY or KIRSTIE ALLEY whom I love, I do, darlings, I mean that in the nicest way) you know that the one voice of reason, the rock of the office, the socially hip, politically correct character is JOSH, despite, or perhaps because of his sexual confusion on the show. Hellllooo, he's a gay character! He is sensitive and understanding, he keeps a better house than VERONICA, cooks better than the lot of them, is the only one who knows jack about fashion or hair, hates sports, and bitch tongues the guys at the water cooler. He's gay, and more power to him, and the writers for making him the moral and social compass on the show. He's also the funniest of the cast. It's too bad they have to water it down for the masses to swallow. Come on people, grow up! Take a good look around you, no doubt there are many gay people you know, or deal with every day in your lives--that office worker whose hair is always a bit too perfect, or the neighbor with a bit more sensitivity for the rest of the family's feelings?

Which makes this story of real life JOSH, WALLACE LANGHAM so fucking amazing. Life is always stranger, goofier, and juicier than fiction. It seems WALLACE was in a grocery store with his girlfriend, that's right, girlfriend. Now, nothing wrong here, for if he really is gay he may well be in the closet, which is perfectly okay. Everyone has to venture out when they are good and ready, people. And it's just fine if he is not gay, not everyone can be, sweeties. Actually, if he's not gay, what an actor! But here's where the story gets interesting--apparently another shopper in the store, who, shall we say, may have found his way out of the closet without any trouble saw JOSH and his gal who had some tattoos on her arms and belly which were exposed. This girl doesn't have any problems walking her stuff out of closets either. Fine, no problem.

But WALLACE turns into a total wacko, and starts beating on the guy who made some comment about the tattoos, right there in the store. And, there's more--he's yelling hate crime slurs (i.e. "fucking faggot," take that you fucking fairy," "fucking gay," "you damn queer," "fuck you homo," "you fucking fudgepacker," take your pick or use one of your own) at the guy while he is pelting him. Helllloooo. Disconnect. What's wrong with this picture? Can you imagine, poor WALLACE has these pent up feelings of hate for gays, as it would appear, yet he works in a job where he has to turn the other cheek, and sssssswallow hard, and ah, be one. Ain't life a bitch with an attitude.

Word is that WALLACE has agreed to a 6 figure ssssettlement to keep the matter from going to trial, against the wishes of the district attorney in the case. Too bad, we all could have benefited from the lessons of intolerance in this case. Meanwhile, I suppose we can see WALLACE LANGHAM living his own personal probation on VERONICA'SSSS CLOSSSSET every week. Just a sssspoon full of sssugar...

ONE ON ONE WITH TOTO
January 18, 2000

American audiences may be wondering what happened to the band TOTO, the early eighties band that skyrocketed to stardom with hits like HOLD THE LINE, ROSANNA, and AFRICA. Since those classics, it seems that American audiences have ostracized TOTO from American markets, however, believe it or not, the world is much bigger than the United States and the band has enjoyed huge successes in European and Japanese markets. But now, TOTO is clicking their heels together and repeating, "there's no place like home", three times to see whether they will wake up in Kansas or live in Oz for the rest of their lives. In the U.S., they have released a new album, MINDFIELDS, and have been touring smaller venues like the HOUSE OF BLUES in L.A. and a few shows in Las Vegas and New York. This album has not only brought them back to the States but it reunites them with the band's original singer, BOBBY KIMBALL. TOTO attributes their longevity to the fact that they have never really fit in so they have been able to change and grow easily into different markets. The band will continue to tour through the holidays and then release a live album called LIVE FIELDS to complement MIND FIELDS and their tour.

GOOD LATINO/BAD LATINA
January 14, 2000

It was said that one key to success is to surround oneself with successful people also

Click here to hear a Ricky Martin sound bite.

reiterated by Latin Super Star Ricky Martin at last year's Blockbuster Awards. Countless grandmothers have said we are judged by the company we keep. So if that is the case, then why did Jennifer Lopez begin dating "Puff Daddy" when he has such a long track record of alleged violent and inappropriate behavior? It seems as though Sean "Puffy" Combs has been making the headlines on a daily basis lately and right behind him is Jennifer Lopez. Lopez has even said at her CD signing in Beverly Hills, CA on June 4, 1999 that she wishes all people to be equal and everyone including Latinos are capable of doing wonderful things. She feels that the public connects with her performances but does that also mean they can connect with her involvement with a "gangsta"? Even one of her friends, unnamed, said that "she was scared that something like this latest incident was going to happen." If Ms. Lopez wishes to continue her career as a respected artist of the Latin community then perhaps she had better listen to the words of another artist whom she shares recognition in the Latin crossover craze.

Write back: Do you think celebrity status brings extra rules of conduct and responsibility or can a celebrity behave in his or her own manner regardless of how they are perceived in the press?

manmade@manmademultimedia.com

ENTERTAINMENT MEMO
1-11-2000

FRANKIE MUNOZ is turning up everywhere as the star of FOX's mid season critical hit MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE and starring in the feature MY DOG SKIP. He plays a less feisty role in the film, and does a fantastic job, outshining the rest of the experienced cast of DIANE LANE, LUKE WILSON, KEVIN BACON, and CLINT HOWARD. In MALCOLM, he is remarkably at ease as central character and narrator/ guide, periodically breaking the fourth wall to do running commentary of the chaos that is his life on the show. Also standout on MALCOLM is his bitter, acid tongued mother JANE KACZMAREK who was last seen on the big screen in PLEASANTVILLE, and had regular stints in a number of TV series like FELICITY, PARTY OF FIVE, THE PRACTICE, FRASIER, HILL STREET BLUES and ST. ELSEWHERE. Who knew she was so funny?........................Have you seen WILLIAM SHATNER in his new gig as concert touring hawkster of PRICELINE.COM? He's a singer, and a comedian, and he's having an awful lot of fun for a man who just lost his wife in a tradgic drowning accident..............................

ENTERTAINMENT MEMO
12-20-99

KATHIE LEE GIFFORD, filling in for CAROL BURNETT in the play "PUTTING IT TOGETHER", refused to sing the lyric "wait for a goddamn minute" citing religious reasons, so instead she sang the lyric "wait an effin minute". What the ef? That effin prude. Who the motha ef does she think she is? No wonder REGIS wants to leave her and ef the REGIS AND KATHIE LEE SHOW. Effin shit! ............Meanwhile, get ready for more final ansas. REGIS and WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE will be on primetime 3 days a week, for the duration of the season. That means goofball CHUCK WOOLERY and GREED will be around to stay. CBS is readying a primetime game show with the master DICK CLARK which should also be around by February. Can't wait................. STUART LITTLE, in a surprise knocked TOY STORY 2 out of first and outpaced THE GREEN MILE, another story with a mouse as a main feature. MICHAEL JETER, who takes a special liking to the mouse, tells us that in THE GREEN MILE, they actually used 30 mice to get all the shots, but 90% of what ends up in the film is real, not animation like STUART.....................Word is about, that ALL ABOUT MY MOTHER, by Spanish sensation PEDRO ALMODOVAR is a shoe-in for best foreign film, and may even pull a LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL with a best picture nod. The film has already landed ALMODOVAR the best director award at THE CANNES FILM FESTIVAL, as well as the people's choice award for best director at THE EUROPEAN FILM AWARDS in Berlin. The film won best picture at that competition, and was named best movie of the year by TIME magazine. ALMODOVAR, who is openly gay, introduced the world to ANTONIO BANDERAS, who starred in several of his earlier works, the first being LABRYINTH OF PASSION..................ELLEN DEGENERES is set to star in another sitcom, this time for CBS, who won't confirm whether the character will be gay, to mirror ELLEN'S real life. Didn't we start this year with her and ANNE dropping out of the business, and buying a ranch somewhere on Mars so they could just live, and not be haunted with the curse of Hollywood. Ef that!

ENTERTAINMENT MEMO
12-9-99

Madeline Kahn

MADELINE KAHN, one of the funniest actresses in the history of film died on Friday December 3, 1999 of ovarian cancer, the same disease that robbed the entertainment world of another comic genius, GILDA RATNER. From KAHN's debut in WHAT'S UP DOC?, as EUNICE ("That'a a person?") to her memorable roles as LILY VON STOOK in BLAZING SADDLES ("It's twoo, it's twoo!"), or ELISABETH in YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN ("Oh sweet mystery of life at last I've found you!") or VICTORIA BRISBANE in HIGH ANXIETY ("Richard, Richard, it's you! I laughed, did you?"), MADELINE KAHN's career was a blur of hysterical characters which will be forever remembered.......................Rapper crime blotter-Grammy winner JAY-Z has been charged with criminal assault after record executive LANCE RIVERA was stabbed several times at the KIT KAT KLUB in New York. JAY-Z was simultaneously charged with two other assault charges, one from the KIT KAT KLUB a week earlier, and one from another nightclub, the CARBON CLUB. Can I go clubbing wit ya next time?..................................THE TONIGHT SHOW and JAY LENO have been sued by a fan who was hit in the face by a tee shirt shot out of an air gun, during the routine warm-up for the show. Perhaps they should shoot rubber bullets to whip that audience into a frenzy for JAY....................MICHAEL JACKSON resurfaced in an interview with TV GUIDE last week, announcing to the world that he intends to have many more children. He also says he has to travel in disguise, when in public, "I've tried everything. Fat suits. Nuns. Clowns. Trick or treat is the best for me." Enough said.......................The cast of WILL & GRACE will appear in a television ad campaign to defeat the KNIGHT INITIATIVE, which would ban gay marriage in the state of California. That's a tough one..........................Did you see HEATHER LOCKLEAR hosting VH1's VOGUE FASHION AWARDS. She looked great, but those shoulders could double as toothpicks, lest she lodge any brisket in between those pearly whites....................

ENTERTAINMENT MEMO
11-15-99

PAMELA ANDERSON LEE pulled off a major coup when she accepted the LINDA McCARTNEY AWARD at PETA's Party of the Century in July. As PAUL McCARTNEY handed her the award, she put him on the spot asking if he would appear in her cheesy syndicated series VIP. He agreed, and word is now PAUL will honor the commitment with a major guest starring role on a later show. Look for him to surface in February during sweeps.......................FOX is considering a game show along the lines of it's rip-off show GREED, this one entitled "WHO WANTS TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE?". This series will have a group of desperate, no-shame, low self-esteem BARBIE dolls throwing themselves at the feet of some sleazy rich guy, and cat fighting for his money. Sounds like a hit to me? Who needs SEINFELD?..................And by the way, why is it major news when JERRY SEINFELD gets engaged? Did he or a publicist spread this word for public consumption? Who cares if you are getting engaged? Best of luck to you. Why would you want to marry a woman who, on her way back from a honeymoon, meets a man at the airport, JERRY SEINFELD, and soon after divorces her newly snagged for him? Whatever.................THANDIE NEWTON, who'll be seen in the upcoming MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 2, apparently won't be the third CHARLIE'S ANGEL alongside DREW BARRYMORE and CAMERON DIAZ. She has signed on to do an indie-comedy thriller instead. Gee, I thought that was what CHARLIE'S ANGELS was to be....................

Sound off: Send us your comments/complaints!

ENTERTAINMENT MEMO
11-3-99

It was a star studded musical week in Vegas last week, with the WARNER BROTHER'S RADIO MUSIC AWARDS at the new MANDALAY BAY HOTEL. It was the first annual event, and as expected organization was a bit lacking. At the red carpet arrival area, hundreds of screaming teenage girls let loose as N'SYNC made their way past the press. I've never heard such a shrill welcome, for any celebrity. Many of the stars of the WB were on hand to present awards, including DAVID BOREANAZ, GARCELLE BEAUVAIS.

Honorees for the evening included KID ROCK, SMASHMOUTH, LAURYN HILL, THE DIXIE CHICKS, and lifetime recipient DAVID BOWIE. BOWIE performed 2 songs before being whisked backstage for limited press and then out of the arena. He had the mandatory straight stringy hair look, and could have passed for a rock star 20 years his junior.

Meanwhile, over at the MGM, internet startup PIXELON, who boasts the internet's first 30 frames per second, smooth motion full screen video playback, hosted a blowout party-ibash, with megastars TONY BENNETT, NATALIE COLE, THE DIXIE CHICKS, FAITH HILL, THE BRIAN SETZER ORCHESTRA, KISS, SUGAR RAY, and a reunion of THE WHO. The daylong party was hosted by DAVID SPADE and download babe CINDY MARGOLIS, and was one hell of a concert bonanza. Food and drink flowed non-stop, to sweeten the packed agenda.

At the theme park, KISS put on their typical pyrotechnic rockfest outdoors under the perfect cool evening, singing nearly all of their favorites. SUGAR RAY opened the set with melodic renditions of "FLY", "EVERY MORNING", and "SOMEDAY", among other songs. While over at the MGM pool NATALIE COLE wowed the crowd with a 45 minute set of her hits, including "UNFORGETTABLE". She was followed by BRIAN SETZER who got the audience jumping, and then came TONY BENNETT who put the perfect finishing touch on a pleasant lineup.

Earlier in the day, LEE ANN RIMES, FAITH HILL and THE DIXIE CHICKS headlined a DIVAS OF COUNTRY MUSIC stage, at the GRAND GARDEN. Not being a country music fan, even I was tapping along to "THIS KISS" by HILL and "BLUE" and "CRAZY" by RIMES. LEE ANN did some songs from her new release including a fantastic cover of the JANIS JOPLIN tune "ME AND BOBBY McGEE".

But the highlight of the day, came at 10:30 pm when THE WHO took the stage at the Garden, to the screams 6,000, mostly elders in the audience. It was a magical moment, at least for this forty-something gen xxxxer when the entire crowd stood and sang along to, "BABA O'RILEY," "Don't cry, don't raise your eyes, it's only teenage wasteland." Drums, guitars, and ROGER DALTREY exalting to the heavens. It was something! Congratulations to PIXELON and good luck on the internet.

...Look for ROGER DALTREY as KING GORIC on the mini-series THE MAGICAL LEGEND OF THE LEPRECHAUNS on NBC Sunday and Monday November 7 and 8, 1999.

For additional pictures of the celebrities mentioned, click here!

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SHOW ME THE GREED
11-5-99

In what can only be described as art imitating life, or FOX imitating ABC, or WOOLERY imitating PHILBIN, or a cheap-ass cheesy primetime game show imitating the motivations of its producers, GREED debuted last evening on FOX. The show masquerades as a venue where contestants work together as a team to ascend a pyramid of winnings which increase in no logical order to the holy grail of $2,000,000, or more if prior teams fail to exalt in ultimate greed. But, we soon discover that the TERMINATOR changes all that chummy chummy behavior and pits individuals against each other, to grab their share of the loot, and eliminate participants in the ultimate booty. It is brutal, and silly at the same time.

CHUCK WOOLERY is all high drama, no jovial "2 and 2" here. He waives banded stacks of $10,000 at the greedy ones, trying to get them to leave the fold and abandon the team. At one point he had the team leader smell the money. Come on. This is a joke, right? The set, the lights, the music, it's like a bad novella. Is that your final game show? I doubt it. We will all fall prey to the shameless, prurient, baseless entertainment that is GREED.

Sound off: Send us your comments/complaints!

ENTERTAINMENT MEMO
10-6-99

ROBERT DOWNEY, Jr. lost his bid to be released from his home with the hardened criminals at Corcoran State Prison. His attorney, ROBERT SHAPIRO warned that he is in danger, being housed with the general criminal population. He was sentenced to 3 years in August, after repeated opportunities to kick his drug problems with more reasonable criminal accommodations. His family has set up a website for those interested in assisting with DOWNEY'S release www.freerobertdowneyjr.com.................. MARY TYLER MOORE and VALERIE HARPER will indeed be reunited for a made for television movie tentatively titled "MARY & RHODA", which will begin filming Monday in New York. Again there is talk that the film could be developed for a series if it flies and the ladies wish to fly with it. They might just make it after all...........................What has JENNA ELFMAN done with her look on DHARMA & GREG this season? The show features one of the cutest and most genuinely lovable relationships in television, but come on. Lose the wings JENNA...................... Booo to FOX STUDIOS who yanked they feature advertising with THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER just because the REPORTER ran some derogatory comments on its recent release "THE FIGHT CLUB". Reviews from across the country are mixed, as is the message behind this film about male aggression and bare fisted fighting. Did FOX expect the kid glove treatment on this film, in this particularly sensitive time of public wanton violence.........................By the way, BRAD PITT waltzed through the arrival line at the premiere the other night with nary a word on his role or the film, or it's message or his relationship with JENNIFER ANISTON, or nothing...........................Producers of CHARLIE'S ANGELS 2000 have finished the search for their 3rd angel. THANDIE NEWTON will join CAMERON DIAZ and DREW BARRYMORE on the project. NEWTON was the tile character in BELOVED, and has been in THE SEIGE and INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE. She also will be starring in MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 2(000), so it should be a good year for THANDIE......................

Sound off: Send us your comments/complaints!

ENTERTAINMENT MEMO
10-6-99

Look for ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER to grace the cover of GEORGE magazine next month. He is hinting at a run for Governor in 2002.................KEVIN SPACEY got a star in the HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME this week. It turns out the star is directly across the street where the new ACADEMY THEATER, permanent home of the Academy Awards, is set to be built. Talk about choice locations. SPACEY'S name is on the short list of shoe-ins for a best actor nomination for AMERICAN BEAUTY..................DAVID BOWIE must think the controversial art exhibit at Brooklyn's MUSEUM OF ART is an American beauty. He is hosting a cyber tour of the show at his website DAVIDBOWIE.COM. You recall the exhibit, the one with the elephant dung plastered on the Virgin Mary, and the vivisectioned animals that has MAYOR GUILLIANNI'S panties in a bunch...........................THE MIKE O'MALLEY SHOW, which follows WILL & GRACE on Tuesdays at 9:30 has been sliced from the fall schedule after only 2 episodes. Yow! How's a guy supposed to find an audience................... I saw SUPERSTAR last evening. MOLLY SHANNON is great, as is WILL FERRELL, but the film misses the mark. The trademark MARY KATHERINE GALLAGHER bits are diminished or left out entirely. It is cute, but not the side splitter it could have been. I think SHANNON is perhaps the best actress on television today between the physical gags done LIVE on one take, and the totally offbeat character who lives vicariously through movie monologues, and then exhibits some of the best, most powerful dramatic acting in delivering those monologues. It's surprising the movie misses the mark, since it is directed by former KIDS IN THE HALL funny man BRUCE McCULLOCH, and has some decent work from another KIDS IN THE HALL alum MARK McKINNEY ......................KIDS IN THE HALL fans can catch the entire cast on tour live in 2000. In Los Angles they are at the Wiltern Theater on January 22...................................