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2004: THE YEAR OF THE SHOW TRIAL
memo menos
12.31.03

Audiences have always had a fascination with the high drama that goes on routinely in courtrooms. Over the years Hollywood has served up legal fare on film to satisfy the hunger we have in these matters. From TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD to 12 ANGRY MEN to JAGGED EDGE to RUNAWAY JURY, the legal milieu has continuously provided a backdrop for mainstream entertainment. Trials, after all are like the Roman forum, where lives of some of the most extreme in our society hang in the balance.

The new millennium heralded the novelty of reality television, but 2004 looks like it will take reality TV to the next level, THE SHOW TRIAL. None other than MARTHA STEWART, KOBE BRYANT and MICHAEL JACKSON will each go before juries (or at least we think so) in 2004. MARTHA’S trial is scheduled for January 12th. KOBE’S will probably be during the summer of 2004 and JACKSON’S towards the end of the year.

Each one bigger than the last; each one facing many years behind bars; and each one worthy of the label trial of the century, despite the fact that the century has just begun. And that’s just the start of it. Also up for trial next year are SCOTT PETERSON, R KELLY, ROBERT BLAKE, JAYSON WILLIAMS and PHIL SPECTOR, just to name a few! Start popping the corn, the show’s about to start.

The OJ trial spoiled us on this melodrama. It had it all-the grisly crime(rest in peace NICOLE), the likeable celebrity defendant, the prosecutors with their various foibles and the defense, from ROBERT SHAPIRO to JOHNNY COCHRAN. “If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit.” What theater! And it was a daily thing for months. The twists and turns captured everyone’s attention better than AMERICAN IDOL. When it was over, we all went through serious withdrawals, and the news networks didn’t know what to do with all the air-time. Who cared about MAURY anymore, we wanted another trial.

Well we’ve got ‘em this year. MARTHA STEWART kicks things off, with jury selection to begin January 6, 2004. Her trial should be underway in February. SCOTT PETERSON should follow soon thereafter, with ROBERT BLAKE, PHIL SPECTOR, and R KELLY close behind.

The main events, the KOBE and MICHAEL JACKSON trials may occur until summer or later in the year. By then we all should be up to speed on law and motion, evidentiary objections, and sentencing hearings. This is better than LAW & ORDER. It’s the real deal, baby, and somebody is going down!

Can you even imagine MARTHA STEWART being led off to jail for 10 years. Or the LAKERS vacating KOBE BRYANT’S spot in the starting lineup so he can do his 15 years of hard labor, or R. KELLY arranging his GRAMMY’S in his 10’ by 10’ jail cell.

Or how about this-any of those heretofore mentioned are already huge celebrities, by virtue of their past accomplishments, or their alleged crimes. How big will they be if they are determined by a jury of their peers to be innocent? MICHAEL JACKSON could work his way back to the top of the pop world, and ROBERT BLAKE could be back on network television prime time. SCOTT PETERSON could be a regular golf partner with OJ in Florida, and PHIL SPECTOR might end up producing BRITNEY SPEARS next release. Now wouldn’t that be something. You gotta love this game!




Mr. Blackwell
MR. BLACKWELL’S WORST DRESSED LIST

For 44 years Mr. Blackwell has taken the liberty to list celebrity fashion victims in an attempt to keep beauty and elegance alive. We’ve all seen the awards shows and thought "what is she wearing?" or "who told her to wear that?". And we’ve all laughed at the tabloids that feature their own worst dressed list and star don’ts. After more than 4 decades no one dishes the fashion gospel better than Mr. Blackwell.
On January 13, 2004 Mr. Blackwell advised the following 10 women to get a new style:

10
Lara Flynn Boyle Lara Flynn Boyle Lara Flynn Boyle
Lara Flynn Boyle: Somethimes a single fiasco is all it takes -that tutu terror ws one of the all-time worst fashion mistakes! A beautiful face....but no taste...what a waste!
9
Courtney Love Courtney Love Courtney Love
Courntey Love: The torrid temptress of fashions "Rock Pack" is the undisputed queen of tack.
8
Melanie Griffith Melanie Griffith Melanie Griffith
Melanie Griffith: Melanie defines "fatal fashion folly" A botox,d cockatoo in a painting by Dali!
7
Missy ElliotMissy Elliot Missy Elliot: Missy's experiencing a bling-bling take-over, time to lower tyhe wattage and get a makeover.

6
Celine Dion Celine Dion Celine Dion
Celine Dion: Half-sequined scarecrow, half-goudy acrobat, is it the Lincoln in drag? And I'll live it at that!!

5
Jessica Simpson Jessica Simpson Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson:Forget putting her stylist on suspension, just clean out that closet, and hire a magician!

4
Diane Keaton Diane Keaton Diane Keaton
Diane Keaton: In prudish fashion pitflls that bury her beauty, it could be Queen Victoria on jury duty! Dowdy, dumpy, and frumpy!
3
Shania Twain: What can I say? In buckled bombs and country-fried kitsch. Has Calamity Twain, popped a stitch!

2
Madonna Britney Spears Madonna
A tie= Madonna/Britney Spears: So many tacky trends, so little time, please, will someone arrest "The Kissing cousins of culture crime!

1
Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton: "How are you gonna keep em down on the farm after they've seen Pareè. Grab the blinders here comes Paris. From cyber disgrace to red carpet chills - she's the vapid Venus of Beverly Hills.

The Fabulous Fashion Independents of 2003:
Nicole Kidman
Nicole Kidman Nicole Kidman Nicole Kidman
Jennifer Garner
Jennifer Garner
Diane Lane
Diane Lane Diane Lane Diane Lane
Salma Hayek
Salma Hayek Salma Hayek Salma Hayek
Oprah Winfrey
Katie Holmes
Tippi Hedren
Beyoncè
Beyonce
Faith Hill
Faith Hill
Sarah Jessica Parker
Sarah Jessica Parker

,, , , , , , , , , HRH Countess of Wessex Sophie Rhys-Jones.





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